I dont care if he doesnt win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, Come on My Face.Three racehorses were standing around their paddockThe first one says, Ive won 15 of my last 26 races.The second one says, Ive won 20 of my last 30 races.The third one says, Ive won 25 of my last 40 races.A greyhound happens to be walking by. Ive fallen and I cant giddy-up. We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! A: A sawhorse. Im gonna have one more beer, the Desperado bellows to the terrified crowd, and if my horse aint back where I left him when Im done, Ill do here what I had to do in Houston., The locals murmur uneasily as the Desperado sips his drink. Q: How did the cowboy know which horse was everyones favorite? One goes quick and the other goes quack. Yes please, says the horse. Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. I didnt like the horse comedian that much. His life coach told him to get off his high horse. A: A nightmare. Why couldnt the pony sing. A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, Talking Horse for Sale. Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. These horse knock knock jokes will make you laugh out loud, and if youre feeling particularly horsey, share some of these amusing horse jokes with your pals to burst out laughter in the room. Tell them to stop being so a-hoof. Q: What show was the horse actor appearing in? jokes for kids, Q: How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio? Neigh-braska Horses living in Neigh-braska are lucky. There are so many amusing things that may occur in a barn, especially when horses are present! What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey?In case he takes offence.What makes a horse sneeze?Hay fever.Rein it in with the gossip!Youll stirrup trouble.What sort of horses come out after dark?NightmaresWhy did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it.Horses favourite vintage TV chef?Fanny Paddock.Look at that horses new boyfriend.Hes such a stud!What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?A neigh-bor.Horses favourite pop duo?Stall and Oats!Where do horses get their hair done?At the hair saloon.Whats a horses favourite TV show?Neighbours of course.I named my horse Mayo.Sometimes, Mayo-neighs. An animal with a 50-million-year long evolutionary process Over the course of 50 million years, horses evolved from small, many-toed animals to the majestic, single-toed equines we know today. But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. (a 2-toned horse, also a type of bean). 59.) Dont miss these unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway. Where do horses live in a city? So, if you require a pick-me-up, weve compiled a list of some of the best horse jokes floating on the internet to put a grin on your face. A: A seahorse. Do you love all things punny? When it comes to horses, having a good sense of humor comes in handy, but whether your life spend around your equine companions or not, there are some hilarious horse jokes that we can all appreciate. A Desperado rides into town and downs a few drinks at the saloon. A. Perfect for kids! (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. Where do horses live in Harry Potter. 90.) Searching his memory he yells to the horse Hallelujah. 24.) Why did the peanut get into a rocket. Horse racing is a centuries-old practicein most countries, with its own distinct world. Never search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead. These elephant jokes will get you a ton of laughs! Horse Related Puns. They discovered a newhorsespecies that has a horn and one, The good pony apologized to the tiger at the. Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. A: Red Hoof Inn. Lucky for them all, when he steps outside again his horse has been returned. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?Start with a large fortune.What kind of food do race horses like to eat?Fast food.Whats similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet?Theyre both off and running.Theres only one time vampires like watching a horse race.When its neck and neck.A racehorse once smoked some weed just before the race was about to start.Once it started, the jockey couldnt control it as it veered off track. A: Stable. The policeman pulls him over. See, it's hard to pin down what makes Bargatze funny, but whatever it is, it's all in that six-minute story. What do you call a horse thats been all around the world?A globe-trotter. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". Your email address will not be published. Q. Whats do horses play for fun? 4. Q: What kind of stories do depressed horses tell? Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. Who is in charge of horse town?The mare (mayor). Have you seen the movie Spirit? Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. Because they dont fit on a ironing board. Show Answer In The Stable Riddle: In a stable there are men and horses. Why did the horse cross the road?Because somebody shouted Hey!. Where do most horses live. These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. Q: Where do horses get their hair cut? Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. These funny horse jokes include riddles, puns, one liners and knock knock jokes. 64.) A: He got colt feet. A horse sits down in a movie theater, and the woman next to him asks, Excuse me are you a horse?, The horse says, I really liked the book.. Related:How to Be Funny The Definitive Guide. He was banned and barned for being too good! Chardon-hay They might be a little hoarse! Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth? What do you do? Whether you're looking for pet jokes or silly animal jokes, we've collected the best animal jokes to keep you and your furry friends entertained. A: Its pasture your bedtime. Why did the skinny man start eating hay?The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse! Here are 50 funny carrot jokes and the best carrot puns to crack you up. So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. Girls who have horses have zero time for much life outside of taking care of the horse. A: Fast food restaurants. Fortunately, one of the best things we can do is laugh at all of the amusing horse racing jokes that occur along the way. According to the BLM, there are an estimated 82,000 wild horses and burros located in the Western United States, with herds of 300-500 in the rest of the country. What do you do?Get off the carousel and sober up.What did the mother horse say to the foal who stayed up too late?Its pasture bedtime!How much money does a bronco have?A buck.Have you heard the one about the runaway horse?Its a terrible tale of WHOA!Why dont horses like being promoted?They hate being saddled with extra responsibility.When does a horse get depressed by the weather?When it reins.What kind of bread does a horse eat?Thoroughbred.What do you use to make a horse change gear?A canter-lever.What is a horses favorite sport?Stable tennis.What kind of horse travels all around the world?A globe trotter.When do horses always stand to attention?Whenever you play the Grand National Anthem.Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride?The ground.How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?Tell him to hold his horses! These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. Q: What was the name of the horse musical? Many people think that when a horse is lying down, that means it's sick. I had the worst nightmare ever! My horse said. At a glance, Bargatze . A: Ney. In domestic situations, horses may be confined to a stall or a yard for part (or even most!) These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. Prepare to laugh out loud like its a competition when you hear these best horse jokes. For Nate Bargatze, it's his joke about seeing a dead horse. If you have a great Dad Joke you can submit it on Facebook or Instagram. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. Q: Who is the author of the book The 200-mile Horse Trek? A: Major Bumsore. Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? Typically, domestic horses have a lifespan of 25 to 30 years, although a maximum of 61 years has been attained. His horse was not tired, he wasn't sleepy and took rest. What do you call a noisy horse?A herd animal. How is this possible? A talking dog!, Sam said to Fred, I put 20 on a horse last week, and he came in at twenty-five to one., Not really, said George. A bunch of ponies were foaling around in a classroom. However, that doesn't mean that us equine enthusiasts don't like to laugh from time to time. The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. 2.) Knock knock. The outside. Q: Why was the race horse so dirty? Where do horses live-Animal Jokes-kids jokes of the day. Watch John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, only on Netflix. (Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!). You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud. What street do horses like to live on? Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Why did the horse talk while his mouth was full? Being an equestrian may be quite amusing at times. A: The outside. 36.) Q: Why was the race horse nicknamed Bad News? A: Everyone knows that bad news travels fast. What street do horses like to live on? (scratch is when a horse it taken out of a race). AND parents laugh at them, too! ), 67 Funniest Football Jokes to Kick It Off with Your Friends. Those long faces and massive teeth, on the other hand, can provide some horse jokes for pretty good belly laughs. Q: What do you call a well-balanced horse? Q: How do they vote in the horse senate? For your entertainment, we've compiled a list of cowboy one liner jokes. They will laugh from the depth of their heart. What was it? I showed up to school, but I was neigh-ked.. 1. Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling . Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. Now, as promised, lets get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off. What is a frogs favorite year. Why are most horses in shape?Because they are on a stable diet. Excuse me, good sir, the horse says, are you hiring?The manager looks the horse up and down and says, Sorry, pal. Why wouldnt the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic?He knew you shouldnt swim on a foal stomach. How is this possible?The horses name was Friday.Horses are so negative.All they do is neigh.Where do horses stay after they get married?The bridle suite.This one horse always has a bad attitude.She keeps saying, Neigh.How do you get a wild horse to accept a halter?You turn the stables on him.Why did the little pony wake up scared?It had a night-mare!Why was the horse naked?Because the jockey fell off.If I ever get a horse, Im naming him Jesus.Then I can say to people I lead him to water, but couldnt make Him walk on it.What song makes a horse want to get up and dance?Watch me whipwatch me neigh, neigh! The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. A: He says neigh to everything. . Go to Jokes r/Jokes Posted by drownradio. Answer: The horses shadow. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Show Answer Trouble Trouble Riddle: There is a man, with his horse he is going to a town. Do you have any funny horse jokes that we forgot to include? This Florida city was just named best place to live in the U.S. Miami isn't even close The therapist asked, Why such a long face? The horse replied, I hate my job! Why dont you quit? the therapist asks. What is black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra. Why are elephants wrinkled. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Here are 35 funny gorilla jokes and the best gorilla puns to crack you up. Who rode a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water?Jockey and Jill. What did the horse grow in her garden?Horse radishes. A: Ralph Neigh-der. Check out the difference it made wh. Do you ever have difficulty keeping up with the math concepts and math strategies that your kids are learning these days? What do you call the horse who lives next door? Do you know a horse joke that didnt make it on our list? Q: What do you name a horse you root for? (A Critical Review). "Yes please," says the horse. 63.) Some kind of animal!. Now, onto some more horse jokes! How did the other horse respond when the restaurant crew greeted him: Hey?That was what I was about to order! The sound a horse makes is neigh which is part of the word neighborhood. It walks out the bar knocking over a few tables. "Why would the circus need a bartender?" Q: What did the momma say to the foal? Help Ive fallen and I cant giddy up. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. A: The horse who lost it! What fruit do twins love. A. Transitioning your horse's feed? Horses, the flawless, majestic beasts whose hoofbeats match the beats of your heart, whose flowy manes remind you of your warmest dreams, with noble eyes that peer right into your soul. Bad Joke Wednesday. What do young horses wrap their food in?Aluminum foal. Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. Last but not least, we have picked out a few longer horse jokes, which you can use in a naturally flowing conversation (when the opportunity is fitting). 40.) Some of your non-horsey friends may become bored hearing about your latest tack buy, so tell them a funny joke, preferably a horse joke! When do vampires like horse racing? He said, Have you ever shoed a horse?I said, No, but Ive told a donkey to piss off once.Fine, Ill get of my high horse!But you really should STOP giving the horses edibles, you know? Your email address will not be published. 34.) Need help? Wild horses are herbivores. 74.) A: Neighbraska. Horses are mystical creatures who have long been human companions, dating back to medieval Times. What do you do?Get off the carousel once it stops. It was pasture bedtime! 76.) A: A night mare. Kids often tell a joke and giggle hysterically, but often they dont really understand why the joke is even funny. Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride. Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. If you dont believe it, you wont until youve run them pasture eyeballs. Being a cowboy is actually a lot of fun, which may explain why there are so many cowboy jokes. Australian Brumby inhabits open grassy plains but is also found in semi-arid desert regions. How did the pony get the bugs away. But theres no such thing as a whinny- borhood or snort-borhood. 10.) When he fell off, he realized it wasnt in-neigh-te. A: With two pairs of stilts. How can this be? Weve compiled a list of the funniest horse jokes for kids for you to have fun with your son or daughter. Here they are: 56.) multiple-meaning words, Were not trying to cause a disturbance, but we believe these are the best horse jokes available. When its neck and neck. Where do horses live. Everyone evacuates to the Cowboys Stadium! Q: What do horses see before thunder? Did you hear about the horse who had to go to court?At first, he was going to lie, but then the judge reminded him he was under oats. Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? What do young horses wrap their food in. Heres a collection of hilarious horse jokes for kids with puns that you and your family can enjoy. These dinosaur jokes will crack you up! What happens if there is a close finish in a horse race? That's not my stable. Check out our entire collection of funny animal jokes. The elevator goes up up up and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Domestic horses have a lifespan of around 25 years. It said horse-shoo fly dont bother me. The best horse jokes will have an unexpected twist or reveal at the end of a bit longer joke typically set up in the beginning. Where do horses live. Q: Where do Knights park their horses? If you do, we have the perfect list of horse puns and jokes for you! A: The Globe Trotters. If you have kids and they have a sense of humor, these Clean Horse Jokes for Kids will make their day. Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. Did you find a pun that could be your next great dad joke? Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. A: Stop horsing around. This. Saddle up and enjoy! 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